Bout 1 – Cosmonaughties vs. Nutcrackers

In the night’s opening jam, the Nutcrackers put Senora Slaughter on the line up against the Cosmonaughties’ Elle Elle Cool Jam. The Cosmos got on the scoreboard first as Elle got lead jammer and Elle took full advantage of it, weaving in and out in a power jam!

The Nutcrackers challenged the Cosmonaughties in October’s Home Team bout. The Cosmos took an early lead as their jammer Elle Elle Cool Jam put up points, getting a power jam at the very first opportunity! Next up, Dottie Danger rocketed through the pack thanks to an effective screen by her teammate Smackerena, putting the Nuts on the board and bringing the score to 28-2 in favor of the Cosmonaughties.


Belle Air Bomber, returning to the track for the Nuts, scored two points along the inside line, and then her teammate Senora Slaughter had a neat ten point jam thanks to her blockers EmNasty, Mandoline Slicer, and Peaches ‘n CreamYa who had Cosmo jammer Celia Casket trapped in a Nutcracker Swirl. She-Bear retaliated for the Cosmos, slamming through the Nuts wall and somehow magically untying Dottie Danger’s skate! Dottie paused to tie her laces, passing the star to Nuts team Captain, Planitz Collide. She-B scored ten, then Elle scored four, and the Cosmos appeared to be taking control of the game. However the Nuts pulled answered back in the next jam, and Slaughter toe-stopped her way to ten points for the Nuts, and then Mandoline Slicer scored a few more too! Nutcrackers closing the gap, 42-27.

There was a diverse group of jammers playing tonight – both teams seemed to be trying out their entire roster. The back-and-forth of getting lead jammer continued, but the Cosmos asserted themselves on the track with powerful, agile jamming and their lead lengthened to 40-50 points where it stayed for much of the bout. The Nuts showed incredible stamina and ability to let hits roll right off of them, but ultimately weren’t able to fight off the Cosmo jammers who just ripped through the packs.


The Cosmos won 248-148, remaining undefeated this home team season. They definitely have their eyes on the Fez Cup this year.

Bout 2 – Wicked Pissahs vs. Arkham Horrors

The Wicked Pissahs played against last year’s Fez Cup winners, the Arkham Horrors.  The Pissahs’ defense helmed by Amy Rock, Estrogeena Davis, and Neurotic Tendency dealt with the Horrors while Truant scored the first lead jammer status of the bout. Truant power jammed, scoring 26 points to give the Pissahs a hefty starting lead! Stevie Nixher and Flyin’ King were on the jammer line next, for the Pissahs and Horrors respectively – these two are teammates on Boston Massacre, do they know all each other’s moves? King had a hard time getting out of the pack as the Pissah wall kept recycling on itself, and Nixher scored four points.

Lisa Lionheart landed some huge hits to clear the way for Gun Show, who got another power jam for the Pissahs. Horrors blockers Trauma, Hayley Contagious, and America Ferocious got Guns next time though, bear-hugging her into submission while KC Wastem got out ahead. Mean hits by Hayley kept the Pissahs in line for a jam or two, the score was 51-4, Pissahs.


Nixher struggled to pass Wednesday Atoms and America Ferocious, so she passed the star to Rock. Jam after jam passed with no scoring, leaving the crowd to wonder who would break the streak. The Pissahs did, putting up small points on the board, but then King came in and got a big jam, bringing the score to 62-33 with the Pissahs in the lead.

We saw a couple huge jams in a row and both teams showed off their mental endurance, keeping gameplay tight. Rock broke apart a Horror pack but inadvertently let Rainbow Crash slide through behind her. KC Wastem got lead jammer again as a huge hit by Fuzzta Rhymes knocked the Pissahs out of commission for a few seconds. MC Slamher, co-captain of the Horrors, got lead jammer next and tightened the race further to 74-55, Pissahs. Rainbow Crash came up and scored eight points for the Horrors by landing a big hit and sliding through when the Pissahs’ wall got a bit wobbly. The Horrors continued to inch closer to the Pissahs’ score, Captain Hook dealing with blockers like Geena to let the Horror jammer through – the Pissah lead was only 6 points!! However, Rock stepped up and padded the lead, making two scoring passes to every one done by the Horrors.

The Pissahs made some effective plays, like when Geena caught Rainbow Crash in a series of painful-looking runbacks. Rock continued to scatter the Horrors’ ranks and Stevie Nixher seemed to leap right over them. The Pissahs’ lead got bigger and bigger as they kept getting lead jammer, and the score was 170-146 by the end of the 44th jam.


The Horrors put in Rainbow Crash with only 3 ½ minutes left in the bout, and the crowd was on edge wondering whether the Horrors would bring it back. Truant was held back by a very determined pack of blockers while Crash made pass after pass – Truant passed the star to Geena – Crash wasn’t stopping, she plowed through with the help of her blockers, suddenly the game was tied! It was 170-170 with two minutes left! Crash scored one more point and for the first time in the game they were winning, IN THE LAST JAM! Crash got sent to the box and Nixher started on the line for the Pissahs, who did it: they ended it. The Pissahs won 182-175!!

October 11, 2014: Cosmos vs Nuts & Horrors vs Pissahs